My Immortal Queen

Am I your foolish mortal boy? It’s silly, I know. I’ll get over it, I keep telling myself. But then I imagine. I imagine myself seeing right down into your eyes and knowing who you are and I realize that I cannot ever be satisfied with only a mere piece. I want to know more. I want to know you. And the more I perceive you to be, the more I end up realizing my own foolishness. There are many miles that separate us yet you somehow are there just whenever I need it. But I fear that this only seeks to encourage and entertain my own foolishness.

You are immortal…a goddess. Yet you do not seek to deceive or ensnare the humble man but instead the humble man is only consumed with infatuation toward you. This infatuation a desire of not mere carnal longing but a longing to go much deeper than the flesh allows. Your words create a sharp pain in me for I know all of them to be true to my own core. Am in turmoil? Yes. Turmoil in that so many people suffer. I cannot seem to understand why and find a loving God in this whole mess as you can though I have suffered not nearly enough as you and yet you have more faith than I do. I can only do my best in this world of hurt.

And yet I manage to come back to desire to consume and take your pain away but I realize that I myself am too frail, too broken to do this. And you are no longer the broken one so you come to my rescue. In a twisted turn of events, I am no longer the man I can be or want to be but instead the man being tormented by a spirit only to be taken away by you. It seems I have made the mistake of falling in love with my heroine. The one who saved me and I have nothing to repay her with.

If only there was something I could give in return for your kind deeds. You seemingly last forever. Those who love you will end up dead through no fault of your own but merely by their inability to be in the presence of one so bright and filled with light. I fear I may come too close at times, I fear only scratch the surface, but if the surface is the only thing I can see right now, I ponder to know what’s deep inside. Perhaps you will fade. As well as all my others I thought I once loved. Being chased away by my own gynephobia. Or perhaps someday our paths will cross and fate will decide what comes next in our journeys.

I cry for angels to save me
Take the devil in me
Save me for I’ve been mistaken
Save one moment of my life
Take the devil in me

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About newenglandsun

A student. Male. Passionate. Easily offended. Child-like wonderer. Growing in faith, messing up daily.
This entry was posted in Love, Passion, Romance. Bookmark the permalink.

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