Followers God Would Rather Not Have

On the Uncyclopedia, there is a list of followers that God would rather not have. Based on some of my experiences with Christian literature, scholarship, and blogging, I have decided to create my own list of followers that God would rather not have. There might be some overlap with the Uncyclopedia’s list though but there’s some on mine that they missed.

Fred Phelps (and the rest of the Westboro Baptist Church)
Martin Luther
John Calvin
Huldrych Zwingli
N.T. Wright (God needs a champion on Earth to defend his incarnation and resurrection so he picked this guy to do it–yeah right!)
St. Bosco
Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick (what a grouch! inconsistent too! picking and choosing the parts of Orthodoxy that he likes and accusing me of doing the same with Catholicism! come on, “Is that a good standard for worship?”)
Fundamentalist Protestants (because being scorched in Hell for eternity for not believing in an all-loving God is what genuine Christianity is all about–see my response to Wright)
The Christian “Right” (sorry, they’re hardly ever right about anything–maybe the Christan Wrong is a better title?)
Pedophile Priests (yes, they do tragically exist)
Jack Chick
Shirley Phelps-Roper
Chik Fil-A
George Bush
Barack Obama (is he even a follower?!?)
Osama Bin Laden
Saddam Hussein
Theodosius I
Lots of fourth century Christian saints
Lots of post-fourth century Christian saints
Especially Saint Nicholas
My uncle (for being a fundie)
My father (for pretending to be a theologian when he’s really an engineer)
Women (and every human in existence too but especially these particular humans)

Well that’s my list. Feel free to add more.


About newenglandsun

A student. Male. Passionate. Easily offended. Child-like wonderer. Growing in faith, messing up daily.
This entry was posted in Calvinism, Catholicism, Eastern Christianity, Entertainment, Feminism. Bookmark the permalink.

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