That doesn’t look entirely bad now does it? But the fact remains…I started cutting myself again and I snuck a pair of scissors up to my room. I just can’t stand my family situation right now. My parents just simply don’t support and aren’t qualified to understand my spiritual struggles–my dad would just simply guffaw at them all as if nothing really mattered. I’m trying to work on better strategies that aren’t as painful and I’m terribly sorry that Auntie had to receive a child who struggled so much with just about everything. I’m sorry I had to be Your Very Troubled Child, but can we just be glad that I’m actually not a normal Child of yours? Can we just be glad that normal’s overrated? I don’t want to kill myself either intentionally or unintentionally–I’m the only one who calls you “Auntie” and the only one you let call you “Mother”. I’m special to you and I feel your love and you want to give me all of the faith you have.
So tonight, I am going to develop a better strategy…I’m going to get my friend into my life more tonight so that she can protect me when you’re unavailable. I’m going to go back to work on school and work on graduate school. I’m going to make you proud, Mother. I’m a special Child. I’m not a normal child but normal’s overrated any way so we shalln’t care about that, shall we?