Category Archives: Love

Wow…

I don’t know what’s more disturbing. Mommy announcing her official retirement from the blogosphere today or perhaps the responses that continue to heap false accusations onto her. If one reads her post from yesterday one can see her intent was to wrestle … Continue reading

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Judging my cousin post-mortem?

My dad got home from my cousin Nick’s funeral today and was telling my mother that there seemed to be no evidence of spirituality for my cousin. For my parents, this indicates a person was not Christian. But I have … Continue reading

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Losses all over…

I like to play a lot of strategy games. Strategy board games (like chess which I’ve commented on frequently) and strategy video games (like Civilization, Empire at War, and Age of Mythology). I do a lot of correspondence games of … Continue reading

Posted in Despair, Love, Passion | 1 Comment

R.I.P. Cousin Nick

Rock in peace, rest in peace, whatever you wish…you were an inspiration to me and my prayers are for you. My cousin Nicholas Roberts died yesterday at the age of 27. May his memory be eternal! I think I’m processing … Continue reading

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Why I’m Talking to My Deacon…

So I start out as Arian, then liberal, then Satanist, then apparently, my guardian angel tells me to start reading church history and I’m led toward a Byzantine Catholic Church (hell, I’d never even heard of Byzantine Catholicism until then!) … Continue reading

Posted in Despair, Love, Passion | 1 Comment

I saw a baby baptism yesterday…

I’ve never seen a baby baptism before. Even though Jesus had revealed himself to babies (Matt. 11:25-26), a baby being enlightened to know Jesus was simply unthinkable among the Evangelical Protestantism I grew up with. They did baptise infants at … Continue reading

Posted in Atheism, Catholicism, Despair, Eastern Christianity, Eastern Rite, Love, Passion | 2 Comments

The Bible is a Simple Book

Theophiletos said in a comment… Although I would hesitate to use the term “contradiction” of any parts of the Bible, whenever two passages don’t line up, I find that to be a productive tension which teaches me a lot more … Continue reading

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Auntie Jessica, Pray For Me

I don’t know what is wrong with me…manic-depression, borderline personality disorder, maybe schizophrenia? I know I’m high-functioning autistic and I’m dreadfully sorry your Child couldn’t be a “normal” Child but what is more important to you? That I am your … Continue reading

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The Rosary–Momma Jess and I

The crucifix: Auntie and I genuflect—she does a Latinised genuflection, I do a Greek genuflection. Mother prays: I cannot, for the life of me, remember the Apostle’s Creed by heart so Auntie prays that for me… “I believe in God, … Continue reading

Posted in Anglicanism, Catholicism, Love | 5 Comments

I’m Sorry, Auntie Jessica

That doesn’t look entirely bad now does it? But the fact remains…I started cutting myself again and I snuck a pair of scissors up to my room. I just can’t stand my family situation right now. My parents just simply … Continue reading

Posted in Despair, Love, Passion | 14 Comments

An Orthodox Christian is in My Religion and Moral Issues Class!

My Religion and Moral Issues class that I’m taking this summer that is going to prevent me from blogging for quite a bit has an Orthodox Christian in it–I’m fairly certain a Syriac Orthodox Christian so jrj1701 might have something … Continue reading

Posted in Eastern Christianity, Eastern Rite, Love, Passion, Philosophy, School and Education | 5 Comments

St. Michael Prayer

I’m writing the following prayer down for my deacon today so he can see that I’ve memorized it as we watch yet another video from Fr. Barron’s New Evangelization series in ECF class tonight. It reads as follows: St. Michael the … Continue reading

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Talking to My Deacon and Resting on My Friend’s Shoulder

To be perfectly honest, I’ve never really had a one-on-one conversation with him before…I just sat at his table during an ECF class one night and heard him talk about despair and then he turned to me and said, “You … Continue reading

Posted in Atheism, Love, Passion | 4 Comments

Counting Down the Days…

approximately 10 1/2 to 11 months before my life gets back to normal… approximately 46.5 to 48 weeks… approximately 325.5 to 336 days… approximately that long until I am hopefully safe with Auntie from all the forces of decadence and … Continue reading

Posted in Anglicanism, Atheism, Despair, Eschatology, Love, Passion, School and Education | 1 Comment

The Butterfly Game!

We’re going to play a game! Any one who reads this post can play this game also though you may miss out on a hell of a lot of fun (literally–hell)! Because I struggle with cutting and depression and the … Continue reading

Posted in Despair, Love, Passion | 3 Comments

Underground

Oh, yes, we shall be in chains and there will be no freedom, but then, in our great sorrow, we shall rise again to joy, without which man cannot live nor God exists, for God gives joy: it’s his privilege–a … Continue reading

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My Archpriest

I was talking to my archpriest just now about my struggles with the faith and all the details in the catechetical instruction classes that one must learn and go over. I loved talking to him! He was able to give … Continue reading

Posted in Catholicism, Eastern Christianity, Love, Passion | 2 Comments

My parish priest…

I met with my parish priest yesterday and I had the initial impression that I’d be able to have more of a command as to what was going on with my journey but it didn’t happen that way. My parish … Continue reading

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My Unlikely Prayer Partner

Julian of Norwich was a Catholic mystic who locked herself up for her entire life. In those days, women didn’t do a lot of the things they did now and as a way of either providing safety for women or … Continue reading

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Called Into All Three – But Why?

I feel like all of these strings on me are trying to pull me into three different churches all at once and it is confusing me. I feel like I am right back where I started when I first started … Continue reading

Posted in Anglicanism, Atheism, Catholicism, Despair, Eastern Christianity, High Church, Love, Mysticism, Passion | 2 Comments

Hans Urs von Balthasar: Credo

Posted in Despair, Love, Mysticism, Passion, Philosophy | 2 Comments

Everything I Want to Say God Right Now if He is Real

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For The Bloggers on Jessica Hoff’s Blog

(…and for other bloggers that have helped me sort things out at this moment in my life recently) this is my thanks.

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The Philosophy of the Rose

I was thinking of what to give to you my queen. Something that would show all that you have done for me. And I all I could think of was a flower. But not just any flower, a rose. I’ve … Continue reading

Posted in Love, Passion, Romance | 4 Comments

My Immortal Queen

Am I your foolish mortal boy? It’s silly, I know. I’ll get over it, I keep telling myself. But then I imagine. I imagine myself seeing right down into your eyes and knowing who you are and I realize that … Continue reading

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